More Tales of the Tragically Fat

•October 26, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Wallace. Wallace the Walrus. Man was he fat. Hairy too. It was worst when he had to move a lot. All those rolls of fat grinding all that greasy hair together produced so much friction that it was an honest to God fire hazard. And hazard struck one fateful Sunday at the Annual Buckton Father-Son BBQ when Wallace burst into flames during the three-legged race. Poor little Wallace Jr. suffered 2nd degree burns and has lost all feeling on the right side of his body…

Today’s Mental Excrement…

•October 15, 2010 • Leave a Comment

If Jesus doesn’t close a door without opening a window, he’s the last guy I want on my side when I’m trying to defend my house during the zombie apocalypse.